Friday, July 30, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Uh, you guys put the cake away didn't you?

In every adversity there are always two choices.

You can whine about how hard it is to go on or
You can get your ass in gear and run for the light as if your life depended on it.

Because it just might.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The girl is bad

She screams, she shouts, she turned that sucka out

Every time she wiggle she make the kid holla for more

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Superstition ain't the way

Maybe your baby done made some other plans

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Pissing off the roof...

...is not the same as watering the flower beds.

Black folk are not a monolithic group who are all related and get together every so often to decide on a group course of action. In fact, black folk run the gamut of every stripe and known variety on the planet.

However, there are two, and only two, things upon which all black folk fully agree.

1. Fried chicken is delicious

and

2. Its time to get the hell out of Dodge when white folk start talking about "what black folk ought do now" because nothing good can follow.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Twitter from a Birmingham jail

As a general rule, I could give the least of a shit what happens with and to the celebrity class. However, one, Ms. Lindsay Lohan, has decided to take on the issue of cruel and unusual punishment and the general cause of injustice around the world. By way of a so called twitter from a Birmingham jail she has invoked spirits which I consider to be under my purview. Therefore, I feel justified in expressing an opinion.

For those who missed it Ms. Lohan, in the wake of graciously declining to attend "COURT ORDERED" substance abuse counseling sessions following her DUI arrest, has been ordered to serve 90 days of incarceration. Ms. Lohan has now twittered about the inhumanity and cruelty of her punishment.

My dear Ms Lohan, If you wish to take on the cause of justice and human rights and work to make this world a better place for the least of these, then those who consider this their life's work will welcome the notoriety your participation will bring to the cause. However, when taking on causes such as this, it might be best if your crusade is not just about, well, you!

Many have suffered and died trying to right the wrongs of this world. I am sure that the miscarriage of justice that resulted in your sentence (which could quite possibly be commuted down to something like 12 days if you could somehow manage to STFU) is listed somewhere on the list of the world's greatest travesties. However, if you and your family somehow manage to travel beyond the universe that is Linday Lohan, you will find that there are people who have spent their entire adult lives (longer than you have been alive) incarcerated based on bullshit far less substantial than the case against you.

In all things Life has repercussions and consequences. And although it is hard to see it now, the judge may just be your best friend in the world. So when you are looking for somebody to blame you might want to think of this song.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My kingdom for a good straight man

Never mind that they are walking all over Dame Edna's timing watch the behavior of her co-panelist.

Listen, I don't care who's show it is, or how big a star you are, trust me, if Dame Edna is on the panel it is NOT about you.

Everyone in Dame Edna's wake is a straight man, accept your role with humility and try to escape with some dignity.



Monday, July 5, 2010

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The notion that the world was flat when it was round

Some places have cherry blossoms, others orchids and the like. It seems that in the US we may have a bumper crop of assholes.

You might think I was talking about the too far right for light to penetrate, but they aren't the only ones.

The right has utilized circular logic to such an extent that they have talked themselves into a corner. Thusly having rendered themselves rhetorically inert, they are pretty much contented with taking each other out one by one until pretty soon there may not be much of a right still standing. Last one to get taken down please turn out the lights to conserve energy.

The real danger these days seems to emanate from the left where they think that if we just recycled enough garbage we could all exist on fresh air and sunshine while we commune with nature. No thank you, I insist on fully functioning air conditioning everywhere I go.

The nut-ball right has pretty much exposed themselves for the short term thinkers that they are. These turkeys have always known that they were wrong but don't care anymore because they have been down this road before and they know wassup come Thanksgiving. So if you were planning on them staying on the plate while you served them up you might want to come up with a plan B.

The nut-ball left still thinks it can goad B-Rock into growing an afro, donning a dashiki and summoning forth his inner revolutionary. We can just inflate a new bubble, run up the credit cards again on the latest i-crap and hire a few more undocumented aliens to help us tote the packages in. This Easter Bunny crowd has not demonstrated that they are willing to fully accept the tenets of mathematics. They are apparently thinking they are going to find the resources to fund their golden years conveniently and ever so delicately hidden in the grass just outside their doorsteps.

America has become a victim of its own successes. Everyone bought into the notion that we all could ascend to the top rung. But if we do and there is nobody at the bottom to steady the ladder we all come tumbling down.

Why don't the rest of you stay down here while I climb up to check things out.

Friday, July 2, 2010