Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Friday, September 16, 2016

Someone please call 911


As I recall, this is how we ended up with George W. Bush

Dubya wasn't elected because his fiscal projections were economically sound and balanced. He was elected because Al Gore was insufferable and nobody wanted to listen to him for the next four years.

Here's a clue, nobody gives a shit about the 10 point plan with interlocking implementation phases.

Even a vegetarian can appreciate a properly served steak.  Who wants a big plate of cold meat. Its the sizzle kid.

They say if you want to live like a Republican you better vote like a Democrat.

Now that the upwardly mobile have had a few years to recuperate from the cold hard presence of reality, the delusions of the pre-Bush years have set in again. Somebody better remind them that the VIP list is much shorter than they might imagine.

If it were me I would tell the biggest lie I could think up.  Then when they swarm all over me I would concede "I guess you sombitches ain't as stupid as you look huh, you can add and subtract.  Maybe you should practice those skills more often."

Then drop the mic and walk out


Thursday, September 15, 2016

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Who's billy goat is this


Bigotry didn't start with the most recent contestant.  This shit has been going on for a long time.  And frankly, it is long past time for it to come to an end.  But that is not the hand we have been dealt.

What sets the current participants apart this year is that we are no longer relying on the delicate and understated signaling normally employed in these matters.  It has been just flat out full throated hog calling instead of the dog whistling you may be used to, just in case some of yall didn't take the hint.

Not to be inconvenient, but the question is not who loves black and brown folk the most now that it is election season.

The question is who's billy goat is this?  And somebody is going to have to claim ownership!



Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Let me understand this


You can have openly bigoted statements and behavior in your repertoire, but the only outrage is calling out that bigoted behavior.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist...


It strikes me that many of the journalists reporting on this story approach it as some kind of academic exercise with the outcome having no more import than the result of some video game. An issue to be exploited for whatever benefit it might produce.  And then its off to the next issue du jour, never having really comprehended the true consequence of the concept.

These people behave as if it most assuredly will not affect them if openly bigoted attitudes are somehow able to prevail again in modern American culture.  The impression is that you would be able to sit back in your easy chair and tut tut about the way they are treating those poor blacks/women/Muslims/immigrants/disabled/Mexicans/others but it won't impact me personally.  So why should I become personally invested in this discussion.

But for those in the affected groups there is no other way for it to be taken but personally.  And those who don't understand that are simply part of the problem.

...Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.


Sunday, September 11, 2016

He's got the whole world in his hands


I did not like George W. Bush.

I did not like his attitude.  I did not like, the way he carried himself. I did not like his swagger. I did not like the way he got elected on bullshit and innuendo. (Speaking of bullshit and innuendo, does that remind you of anyone else). I did not want to have a beer with him. I did not like the way he used his privilege to bypass all the rules the rest of us have to follow. I wasn't jealous of his privilege, I just didn't like the way he used it. There are people of privilege who occasionally use their privilege to benefit others who get a pass.

I did not like the fact that he was "formerly" a drunken substance abuser. I especially did not like the fact that he was now "on the wagon" and telling the rest of us who didn't get to party like it was 1999 about the dangers of having too much fun. It reminded me of my childhood when the whore mongers who occasionally showed up in church on Sunday morning "testifying" about the dangers of all the shit they had been doing for the past 30 years but here they were this morning to tell the youth that "ain't nothing out there" for you. And we would be sitting there thinking "Yeah motherfucker I guess not after your greedy ass has used up all of the big fun and now you in here telling everybody all the secrets" so that we have to explain.  No ma'am, we don't have none of that at our school, that must be them other schools.

But on 9/11, when that second plane hit the tower and everyone realized instantaneously that this was definitely an oh shit moment, my perspective on George W. Bush changed. The news coverage that day was hyperbolic enough that anyone who pays attention understands that the only thing the secret service would want to do that day would be to get the hell out of Dodge. A moving target is a difficult target and they would want to be wheels up and fast moving away from whatever godforsaken shit hole they happened to be in at that moment (apologies to Sarasota). I knew this was the protocol but as the day wore on and the hysteria began to subside the media started giving the POTUS shit for being MIA.

But on this day George W. Bush became "my president" too and it was the first time that I had ever rooted for his ass.  I remember thinking "run motherfucker, run".  Ignore those stupid sombitches in the media and run.  This man and his decisions are the only thing standing between us and a real shit storm of overwhelming grief.

From its very beginning, America is and was an amazingly uneven and offensively divided nation. And those on the bottom are subjected to unspeakable disadvantages while those on the top enjoy obscenely offensive advantages while those in the middle pick up the tab for everyone. But if these assholes somehow manage to topple the hierarchy of the United States government we all are going to be fucked six ways from Sunday. My sincerest hope that day was that Dubya and his coterie had successfully bugged out, busted out the super secret double naught spy equipment and had somehow managed to get this shit on lock down.

Everyone who experienced the horrors of that day, pretty much in real time, has certain things they remember about that day. One of the things that sticks in my head is my personal realization that despite my disdain for him, George W. Bush was the only president that I had and that I had better root for his ass with all earnestness that I could muster. All we needed in that moment was 2 or 3 Al Haig wanna be's to decide that their time had finally come and it would be a short walk to chaos from there. Besides, Dick Cheney did not strike me as the type of motherfucker you wanted to let loose on his own.  Upon leaving the presidency, at least Dubya had the decency to go sit quietly in a corner somewhere and STFU.  Also, this personal revelation provides me with perspective on these right wing sombitches constantly rooting for the failure of President Obama; not only are they unpatriotic but they are dim bulb stupid cocksuckers to boot.

The other thing that stands out in my head about that day was thinking someday there would be some sort of detailed account of what happened that day in and around Air Force One. I remember thinking I hope I am still alive when the real blow by blow account of what happened that day is released. Well it looks like I made it because the first of those accounts has been published by Politico.  It is full of holes and not very organized and you have to take it with a grain of salt as some of it is total bullshit excreted by well known bullshitters but it is a fascinating read.  I am most surprised by the praise heaped on Vladimir Putin and Russia's cooperation during those uncertain hours.  But Vladimir is nobody's fool and I am certain that he realized that there is nothing in nature more dangerous than a wounded she bear trying to protect her cubs.  He probably had an entire agenda of bullshit he planned to perpetrate on the world that day but I am certain the only thing going through his mind was "not today Satan."

Run motherfucker, run indeed!



Friday, September 9, 2016

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Monday, September 5, 2016

The board of racism


I have always thought that there should be clearing house to sort through any and all claims of a racial nature. A central authority, if you will, for sanctioning claims of racism by black people. I'm sure the Hispanics and the Asians will want to form similar bodies once they see the revenue potential.

The board would have authority to adjudicate all claims of racism by scoundrels who get caught with their elbows in the cookie jar and then proclaim the racist cookies made them do it.

This august body of authorities on race would include a few preeminent scholars, a couple of home boys and the obligatory token liberal white person. They would be the final arbiter of what is or isn't racial discrimination.

To fund its operations, it would have a copyright on all things racial. It would collect royalties similar to the way ASCAP collects music royalties from those who entertain their patrons with copyrighted music.

 "They didn't hire me cause I'm black".
"Excuse me brother, that will be twenty five cents for use of our trademark".

"You are charged with trafficking 350 kilos of cocaine, how do you plead?"
"They let them white boys get away it, they only targeted me because I'm black."
"In addition to your sentence, you sir will be required to pay restitution to the Board Of Racism."

"In my capacity as pastor of The Greater Denominational NoMemberHaving congregation I retain the right to speak for all black people on all matters at all times without exception.
"Pardon me reverend, we will be needing a cut of those tithes."

The proceeds would be collected and distributed to those with delinquent Cadillac payments as reparations for way too many years of actual bullshit.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Saturday, September 3, 2016

That's right, we bad


RIP Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor

Friday, September 2, 2016