jacked UP jazz: March 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

Twisted

First lets dispense with a few housekeeping chores.

Charlie Sheen is an asshole of epic proportion. His overinflated ego and self-worth come off as douche baggery in the extreme and has reached a level such that it makes Donald Trump look like Ghandi.

Second, in my humble opinion, Two and a half men was one of the best written shows on television. Although Sheen took full credit for the show’s success, in my opinion the writing is what really makes the show sparkle. Although to be sure, Sheen contributes substantially to the show’s success, I have a much greater appreciation for the ensemble cast as a whole rather than any one character. However, if I were to choose a favorite character it would be the brother Alan played by Jon Cryer with the nephew played by Angus T. Jones as a close second or even the scantily clad assortment of bimbos that cycle in and out of the cast as my third favs. Hell even the cold and calculating mother character played by Holland Taylor has a substantial amount of depth.

Point of personal privilege:
Did you know that Holland Taylor also played the teacher in the movie JT (see J.T. Part IV at 2:20) Is that that not the coolest thing you have heard today.

I don't know that Charlie Sheen's acting was all that great anyway. Based on recent revelations, it appears that Sheen was not so much acting a part in a sitcom so much as he was pretty much being himself and living out his existence as an art imitating life kind of thing.

To my point, Charlie is absolutely correct; he is a rock star from Mars. Everything in Charlie Sheen’s environment from his paycheck to the hangers on who support his megalomaniacal leanings and deluded sense of reality tells him he should continue his present course of action. Based on all the evidence available to him, he has drawn the only rational conclusion that can be drawn. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Charlie Sheen’s mind. Anybody that gets paid $2 million a pop for just being your same old assholey self is absolutely justified in concluding that the rest of the world is inferior.

No, there is nothing wrong with Charlie Sheen. It is those of us who have allowed society to be organized around the concept that an adequately skilled minstrel, who’s only contribution to society is entertainment of the masses, can be allocated $2 million an episode in a time when teachers and police officers are struggling to justify their worth to society. Or when doctors who serve the aged and destitute through Medicare and Medicaid are paid chump change for lifesaving procedures even as there is an ongoing conversation as to whether they are paid too much and need to be paid less. But until Sheen caught a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth nobody thought there was anything wrong with the pay scale in Hollywood. Apparently we still think his paycheck would be OK if he would just STFU about it.

Normally I could give less of a rip about what goes on in Hollyweird but the thing that bounced this whole deal into my realm of concern is when the authorities swooped in and removed his 2 year old kids from their porn star fueled sex drugs and rock and roll environment. I have two questions about that:

1. What took them so long and

2. When did we begin to define best interests of the children as taking them away from one drunk and giving them to another drunk.

I am 100 percent in favor of fathers’ rights but Mr. Sheen has to be clear that in this country there is no constitutional right to screw up your kids. (Note to Charlie, although it is technically possible that your kids will also be paid two million dollars an episode, the likelihood of that happening is statistically remote. Therefore, it might be a good idea if those boys had a clue about living in the real world rather than the one created by their overpaid father.)

You can talk about crazy, sick, deluded, out of touch sombitches all you want but I assure you Charlie Sheen is nowhere near the top of that steaming pile of poo. Yes sir we got some twisted fuckers driving the bus and I don't particularly care for where they seem to be taking us.

And now Charlie has released the hounds, erm lawyers, to make them explain why they won't pay up anymore. Give'em hell Charlie!