Thursday, April 28, 2011

What in THE hell

is wrong with you people.

Sorry to be late to the party but Easter still has me reeling.

Normally I avoid family Easter dinners like the plague but hey, even a jazz man gets hungry for a good feast from time to time so I showed up this year.

Apparently things have changed since my last celebration. As the playas are fond of saying "they got the game all messed up".

I refer to the apparently burgeoning tradition of having the Easter egg hunt with plastic eggs filled with cash. It seems that this is a thing and lots of people are doing it.

What is wrong with you people. I mean what is the message here, that Jesus died so you could hunt for cash in the bushes.

I am just as much in favor of a good misdirected holiday as the next person. But things have gotten out of hand.

When I was a kid your mother helped you make your own Easter eggs with those little vials of food coloring that only came in the primary colors. You soaked your boiled eggs one at a time in a coffee cup of the hot mixture for a few minutes and you got a colored egg. And in the process you learned useful shit like mixing yellow and blue together produced green eggs.

But the only things kids seem to be learning now is "that bitch betta have my money"

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Saturday, April 23, 2011


When you absolutely, positively need to be the baddest ass in the room

accept no substitutes

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Friday, April 15, 2011

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Friday, April 8, 2011

Do not fear that good night...

...for the only casualty will be the bullshit perpetrated by both sides.

For ...wise men at their end know dark is right,

This ain't no government shutdown.

A real shutdown would affect the air traffic controllers and the nuclear regulatory commission just as much as it affects the national parks and hapless federal workers. A real shutdown would close the post office and stop the printing of social security checks. Hell, we can't even get an extension of the tax deadline. A real shutdown would force "the government better keeps their hands off my medicare" crowd to confront their delusions about being true patriots instead of just another bunch of suckle pigs angling for better position than their their siblings on America's multiple teats.

But no, what we get is a public spectacle that mostly affects the poor schmucks that were disfortunate enough to plan their wilderness vacations at the wrong time.

If there were some real badasses out there they would file suit to force the government to spread the pain equally throughout the government, equal protection under the law style. Oops, wait a minute, ain't the federal judiciary funded by the government. Nevermind!

By the time America is at a point where it should be cutting budgets and reducing deficits, most of the tea baggers will have been rightfully cast out of public office (and hopefully banned from public discourse as well) and those still standing will be busy building bridges to nowhere again.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Those New York cats can really play

This week, The New York Times, boldly following in the footsteps of The Wall Street Journal, instituted a new "pay us or we take our ball and go home" policy.


Apparently rejecting the age old adage about no education in the second kick of mule, they appear to be going for their doctorate degrees in mule asswhuppins. One source close to the deliberations who was unnamed because he was not authorized to speak on behalf of the paper indicated that this change was made because the market has prematurely abandoned this business model. "Not only are we going to do this but we are also going to bring back the buggy whip, eight track tape players and videocassette recorders (beta).

Both the Journal and The Times have carefully sprinkled enough loopholes in their firewalls to twitter-pate readers with enough access such that they aren't supposed to notice that they are now charging readers hundreds of dollars for what used to be free. What is really strange is that Journal is mostly charging for the crap and leaving the actual news articles of value on the socialist side of the firewall. Go figure.

On a related note, The Washington Post, apparently eschewing the crass capitalism of paygo, is maintaining all of their content on the web free of charge, opting instead to drive their subscribers away by annoying the hell out of them with their new revised display format. Nothing is where it used to be anymore and all their writers, both the brand names and the up and coming nobodies apparently now all have the same access to be ignored by their inevitably diminishing reader base.

Geniuses all!

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