It is a sacred cultural bond that should carry the weight of the social contract that it should be.
Perhaps those intent on "taking America back" might consider starting with family court.
No justice no peace!
One day we will all be free.
Oh yeah, Happy father's day!
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's Day. Show all posts
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy mother's day, now let's set these bitches straight
As faithful followers of the jacked UP jazz experience may recall, we have long since noted that there seems to be a variation of expectations between the genders for the purpose of setting aside a day to honor those blessed with the opportunity to be parents in our society. Well, those who subscribe to the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" philosophy are gonna be with me on this post, those who don't, not so much.
Mother's day seems to be all flowers and Hallmark cards and thank you's mams and memories of self sacrifice and skinned knees being carefully attended with love. It is a celebration of the institution of motherhood and the unique role mother's play in our society. A day where we all acknowledge the special attributes of our mothers.
Whereas father's day seems to have devolved into some sort of cultural delineation of all the shit fathers could have done just a little bit better if they had applied themselves and as we think about it we are all still pretty pissed off about it. Why can't you motherlovers be more like Denzel. And where is the child support check? Matter of fact we're gonna call a press conference with a bunch self loathing, guilt ridden male celebrities to show you errant bastards how to sufficiently better yourselves so that you are fit to show your despicable faces in our presence.
Gee, thanks! I didn't know you cared.
There is no need to explain. Shortcomings will not be tolerated. Society has set a standard that must be adhered to. You sombitches need to get your shit together, and that right quick.
The criminalization of fatherhood has provided yet one more avenue for miseducated, mentally unstable, poor and broke or just plain young and stupid males to find themselves at the mercy of a merciless system that will not be satiated by blood or money. If, then, we cannot decriminalize fatherhood I say we criminalize motherhood just to keep things nice and even.
Every working single mother who is 15 minutes late picking up her child from daycare needs to get hauled in front of a no nonsense judge, who is up for reelection, to explain just exactly why it is that she can't seem to get her shit together. And if her little tale of woe fails to sufficiently amuse us we sentence her to six months of "reflection time" in order for her to figure out how not to piss us off next time.
When young women produce more than the culturally acceptable number of offspring we can ridicule them for being irresponsible and a burdensome drag on society.
Weak willed females of questionable character who are too distracted by the monotony of keeping the lights on in the house or providing food for the family and are unable to dispense whatever items of consumerist bullshit that have taken over the collective consciousness of preteen adolescents all over America will be held in contempt of the collective and disparaged as an unfit mothers.
However, I do think we should grant a special recognition to the adoptive mother who packed up that orphan boy and sent him on a one way trip back to Russia for being a psychopath. Although, anybody who has spent more than ten minutes with any garden variety seven year old knows that label pretty much applies to each and everyone one of them. Just the same, I can still feel the cockles of my heart warming to glowing ambiance. Only a mother would have taken the time to attach a note to his little ass.
Surely a no account father would have just sent his ass off COD.
Mother's day seems to be all flowers and Hallmark cards and thank you's mams and memories of self sacrifice and skinned knees being carefully attended with love. It is a celebration of the institution of motherhood and the unique role mother's play in our society. A day where we all acknowledge the special attributes of our mothers.
Whereas father's day seems to have devolved into some sort of cultural delineation of all the shit fathers could have done just a little bit better if they had applied themselves and as we think about it we are all still pretty pissed off about it. Why can't you motherlovers be more like Denzel. And where is the child support check? Matter of fact we're gonna call a press conference with a bunch self loathing, guilt ridden male celebrities to show you errant bastards how to sufficiently better yourselves so that you are fit to show your despicable faces in our presence.
Gee, thanks! I didn't know you cared.
There is no need to explain. Shortcomings will not be tolerated. Society has set a standard that must be adhered to. You sombitches need to get your shit together, and that right quick.
The criminalization of fatherhood has provided yet one more avenue for miseducated, mentally unstable, poor and broke or just plain young and stupid males to find themselves at the mercy of a merciless system that will not be satiated by blood or money. If, then, we cannot decriminalize fatherhood I say we criminalize motherhood just to keep things nice and even.
Every working single mother who is 15 minutes late picking up her child from daycare needs to get hauled in front of a no nonsense judge, who is up for reelection, to explain just exactly why it is that she can't seem to get her shit together. And if her little tale of woe fails to sufficiently amuse us we sentence her to six months of "reflection time" in order for her to figure out how not to piss us off next time.
When young women produce more than the culturally acceptable number of offspring we can ridicule them for being irresponsible and a burdensome drag on society.
Weak willed females of questionable character who are too distracted by the monotony of keeping the lights on in the house or providing food for the family and are unable to dispense whatever items of consumerist bullshit that have taken over the collective consciousness of preteen adolescents all over America will be held in contempt of the collective and disparaged as an unfit mothers.
However, I do think we should grant a special recognition to the adoptive mother who packed up that orphan boy and sent him on a one way trip back to Russia for being a psychopath. Although, anybody who has spent more than ten minutes with any garden variety seven year old knows that label pretty much applies to each and everyone one of them. Just the same, I can still feel the cockles of my heart warming to glowing ambiance. Only a mother would have taken the time to attach a note to his little ass.
Surely a no account father would have just sent his ass off COD.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
From your absent father to you on Father's Day
I was reading an article on fatherhood in the Wall Street Journal (subscription required) about gate keeping mothers preventing fathers from doing their jobs as fathers by deciding when and when not to allow dads to be dads. I was fairly well impressed that someone had thought to take a different approach in the big annual run up to father's day (Come Monday we will be back to nobody giving a good goddamn about father's and fatherhood, but I digress). Then I started reading the comments section which had a decidedly negative perspective on the article.
My first impression was that maybe the commentators were self satisfied fathers who just didn't get it. These were people who felt they had fulfilled their fatherhood responsibilities and didn't need anybody telling them how to be a father. As I continue to think about it, I am beginning to recognize that maybe that's the point.
Over the years I become more and more disillusioned with the concept of father's day, as it seems to have become nothing more than a vehicle of the M.I.C. (Motherhood Industrial Complex) which is used to berate men who don't measure up to the arbitrary standards they have imposed upon us. Essentially, the day functions as an opportunity to make a list of all the stuff that men need to do. Fathers have lost control of the very day supposedly set aside to honor them. The M.I.C. has convinced the world that we should use this occasion to detail all of the things that are wrong with fathers. Mother's day is a celebration of motherhood, as it should be. Why isn't father's day a celebration of fathers. Why is the focus on the mistakes and missteps. Come next mother's day, I am going to keep count of all the articles that tell young single mothers that you should have kept your legs closed until you got your act together. Or if you are poor you are an unfit mother. Because these are exactly the messages that fathers are subjected to on their "day of honor".
This is a symptom that is representative of fatherhood in general. The self assured mothers and mothers in law and list makers and pundits are all telling us what to do and who to be. They even line up an errant prodigal father who, after 20 years of absence, is now the reigning expert on what fathers ought do. Somehow we have merged the role of father with the role of husband. Maybe this was accurate back in the days of Ozzie and Harriet or Ward and June Cleaver, but the sexual revolution of the 60's produced the "baby daddy" of the 70's. The Husband and the father have been unequivocally bifurcated.
Husbands better do as they are told if they want to have a peaceful home. Fathers are not necessarily a part of the home. We are warriors and protectors of children who may or may not live under our roof. Being a father to the children of your baby mama from across town increases the difficulty factor exponentially. And sometimes being absent from your child is the best way we know how to protect that child. Understood, this don't feed the bulldog, but sometimes that's all we got. And truth be told, fathers who are not absent are not all that present anyway. Yeah, the body is present but the spirit is on the job, or at the golf course or caught up with the sports team or worse yet in the bottle.
It is very difficult to live in the small space that is left open by the M.I.C. You should wear this, and do that and pay this and bring that and and and... We have been contorted into this made for TV version of what a father ought to be. And what's worse, we have convinced our kids of this crap. If we don't go out back and play catch with the little boys they feel deprived. If we don't suit up and attend the daddy daughter dance little girls don't feel they are getting enough of their daddy's love. And God help your monkey ass if you come up short on a court ordered child support payment or two.
So if you want to encourage fatherhood then sit quietly and let us tell you what it means to be a father. Unless you are a father you cannot possibly know what it means. So let us tell you what it means to walk into a hospital natal ward hard and tough on the outside but a quivering mass of fear on the inside. Let us tell you what it means to come up short on Christmas presents. Let us tell you what its like to try to teach a child the things nobody ever taught you. Let us tell you what its like to look into the eyes of your newborn and know you are not ready for this.
We don't celebrate "Actively Engaged Father's Day" we celebrate "Father's day". Whether by birth or by adoption, still living or dead and gone fathers should be honored simply for existing, in the flesh or only in memory, warts and all. Of course we should talk about all those other things that need to be done. Children need food , clothes, homes and yes somebody to play catch with them or take them to the daddy daughter dance. But maybe that can wait until Monday.
There is an old philosophical question about whether a tree falling in the woods makes a sound if nobody is there to hear it.
Can you hear me now?
My first impression was that maybe the commentators were self satisfied fathers who just didn't get it. These were people who felt they had fulfilled their fatherhood responsibilities and didn't need anybody telling them how to be a father. As I continue to think about it, I am beginning to recognize that maybe that's the point.
Over the years I become more and more disillusioned with the concept of father's day, as it seems to have become nothing more than a vehicle of the M.I.C. (Motherhood Industrial Complex) which is used to berate men who don't measure up to the arbitrary standards they have imposed upon us. Essentially, the day functions as an opportunity to make a list of all the stuff that men need to do. Fathers have lost control of the very day supposedly set aside to honor them. The M.I.C. has convinced the world that we should use this occasion to detail all of the things that are wrong with fathers. Mother's day is a celebration of motherhood, as it should be. Why isn't father's day a celebration of fathers. Why is the focus on the mistakes and missteps. Come next mother's day, I am going to keep count of all the articles that tell young single mothers that you should have kept your legs closed until you got your act together. Or if you are poor you are an unfit mother. Because these are exactly the messages that fathers are subjected to on their "day of honor".
This is a symptom that is representative of fatherhood in general. The self assured mothers and mothers in law and list makers and pundits are all telling us what to do and who to be. They even line up an errant prodigal father who, after 20 years of absence, is now the reigning expert on what fathers ought do. Somehow we have merged the role of father with the role of husband. Maybe this was accurate back in the days of Ozzie and Harriet or Ward and June Cleaver, but the sexual revolution of the 60's produced the "baby daddy" of the 70's. The Husband and the father have been unequivocally bifurcated.
Husbands better do as they are told if they want to have a peaceful home. Fathers are not necessarily a part of the home. We are warriors and protectors of children who may or may not live under our roof. Being a father to the children of your baby mama from across town increases the difficulty factor exponentially. And sometimes being absent from your child is the best way we know how to protect that child. Understood, this don't feed the bulldog, but sometimes that's all we got. And truth be told, fathers who are not absent are not all that present anyway. Yeah, the body is present but the spirit is on the job, or at the golf course or caught up with the sports team or worse yet in the bottle.
It is very difficult to live in the small space that is left open by the M.I.C. You should wear this, and do that and pay this and bring that and and and... We have been contorted into this made for TV version of what a father ought to be. And what's worse, we have convinced our kids of this crap. If we don't go out back and play catch with the little boys they feel deprived. If we don't suit up and attend the daddy daughter dance little girls don't feel they are getting enough of their daddy's love. And God help your monkey ass if you come up short on a court ordered child support payment or two.
So if you want to encourage fatherhood then sit quietly and let us tell you what it means to be a father. Unless you are a father you cannot possibly know what it means. So let us tell you what it means to walk into a hospital natal ward hard and tough on the outside but a quivering mass of fear on the inside. Let us tell you what it means to come up short on Christmas presents. Let us tell you what its like to try to teach a child the things nobody ever taught you. Let us tell you what its like to look into the eyes of your newborn and know you are not ready for this.
We don't celebrate "Actively Engaged Father's Day" we celebrate "Father's day". Whether by birth or by adoption, still living or dead and gone fathers should be honored simply for existing, in the flesh or only in memory, warts and all. Of course we should talk about all those other things that need to be done. Children need food , clothes, homes and yes somebody to play catch with them or take them to the daddy daughter dance. But maybe that can wait until Monday.
There is an old philosophical question about whether a tree falling in the woods makes a sound if nobody is there to hear it.
Can you hear me now?
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