Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Governor proclaims America is a nation of pussies

New York city Mayor Michael Bloomberg is appealing for the city to remain patient while they attempt to rescue enough of their snow plows from the very snow that they are supposed to clear away in order to attend to the city's snowbound streets. Meanwhile, snow babies are being birthed at home because EMS response time declined from an unbearable 4 hours to a completely useless maybe we'll get to you tomorrow sometime.

And the rest of the nation's air travel system attempts to recover from a complete 24 hour shutdown of all New York area airports . It is expected to take a week or more to return the system to normal.

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell is unhappy that the NFL canceled the local soccer match, ostensibly so the fans wouldn't kill themselves or each other driving to a ballgame in what has to be one of the worst blizzards in a generation.

Apparently, canceling the game is a clear indication of the loss of the American pioneer spirit as well as the draining of our vitality as a nation and portends nothing less than the end of western civilization as we know it.

No word yet on Governor Rendell's position on seat belts, water wings, bicycle helmets, training wheels or men who drink their alcohol mixed with ice and soft drinks but we'll keep you updated should he decide to issue forth with a proclamation.

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